How To Self-Soothe Quick Guide


When we’re reliant on external esteem to feel happy and secure, we end up feeling anything but these; instead, we end up reliant on stuff, substances, unhealthy actions, and the validation of others. We look outside of us to feel better and end up feeling as if we have no control over our lives. Each time we experience an emotion that we have a negative association with, we try to push it down or away. In turn, when we want to feel good, we end up looking for artificial boosts that provide us with temporary relief and happy feelings but are underpinned by blame and shame.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

Clients, readers and listeners ask me about initial steps that they can take that will enable them to learn how to take care of their feelings and to calm down responses in situations where they tend to engage in unhealthy self-soothing. They do some of their worst self-destruction in response to feelings of loneliness, boredom or stress, often breaking No Contact because of the onset of discomfort and having no inner support and tools to respond in a constructive and loving manner.

This Quick Guide was created for students of my online courses, with many citing it as being invaluable as it’s designed to help you to get into the process quickly. It includes suggestions as well as prompts to help you brainstorm ways in which you can comfort yourself as well as promote an honest conversation about the things that are dragging you down.

It includes the Feelings Diary Journaling Guide, which has prompts to help you support your self-soothing by jotting down your feelings.

What happens after purchase?

You will receive a receipt confirming your purchase and an email with the download links for the ebook and accompanying resources. Files are issued as PDFs (readable on everything, plus printable) and, where applicable, ePubs, a mobile device version that needs to be opened through the appropriate app (your mobile device will point you to this). Check out the FAQ for ebooks.

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